There's a feeling you get as an artist from time to time When you encounter a peice and something about it Something about it clicks into place you feel this surge of energy A sudden desire to create, to capture a piece of the world, to let its beauty pass through you It's impossible it's amazing it's electric it's astonishing A spark of passion trapped inside your mind, begging to be let out No artist works alone Maybe it's a little clumsy at first, a mere crayon drawing compared to their masterpiece But you learn, you get out your canvas and start painting with their brushes, with their words, with their chords You try to mimic it, and their style bleeds into your own Combining to create something new, something beautiful Not imitation, but an homage to them And to what you could become

Open up your murder eyes and see the ugly world that spat you out Open up your ugly mouth and sing the words, it's how you spit 'em out In the days before the damage no one knew if we were happy In the days before the damage dying wasn't nearly even easy now So open up your murder eyes and see the ugly world that spat you out Stevie Wonder to the bullshit Stevie Wonder to the bullshit, baby Write a nice pop song about it Cut the world in half I bet that you will go and find a sleeping giant Turn the page just to wake him up and then turn the page and then turn the page to kill him In the days before the damage boredom was the same as waiting In the days before the damage water was the only form of raining In the days before the damage human beings were the ones who did the chasing Open up your murder eyes and see the ugly world that spat you out Hellen Keller to the bullshit Hellen Keller to the bullshit Break through your isolation Temple Grandin to to bullshit Temple Grandin did to bullshit baby Find a nicer way to kill it

You'll never really know Anything about me When we were together, I tried to tell you I used to tap dance when I was in choir And I broke my arm when my dad crashed a go-kart He didn't mean to, my mom didn't buy it I tried on your lipstick, I thought I looked pretty But you didn't care, no, 'cause you're always busy And you're always busy, so you never hear me So you'll never really know Anything about me Do I sound like a joke when I'm talking to you? I take it back quick and I nod like, "True" 'Cause you say so many things, and I don't know what I mean Short messages to you, short messages to me Now if I think of a joke, will I say goodbye? I put my paws on my face and pretend to cry But I'll laugh too fucking hard, you probably think I'm so mean But I don't even know you, and now you'll never really know Anything about me Is it such an easy game If I put you right to sleep Rationale and cheap cliché Hollow and callously Could you explain it all away? Like it was all so clean? So content about the way it's 'okay bet, I forget" And I guess I never knew, but I don't think I'll forget It's cool, I guess I'll never know Anything about me Anything about me No you'll never really know Anything about me

I'll casually say hey and wave When I finally meet you The tickets are expensive To get to there from where I live I guess I'll take the highway You had that Expo in the spring But I had work and home and things In the beginning, it was easy to deny A good friend of mine lives in Kansas In the beginning, it was easy to deny A good friend of mine lives in Kansas Heard of your predicament Sending my deepest regrets Twenty dollars are enclosed To get you through these darker times I hope that we both stay alive Enough to figure something out I'd like to take the train right now In the beginning, it was easy to deny A good friend of mine lives in Kansas Come down to Jersey Stafford or Edison Some college kid living on her parents' dime And wouldn't it be fine? If she could come and visit you Well she can't seem to make the time In the beginning, it was easy to deny A good friend of mine lives in Kansas And in the end,​ it was easy to deny Another lonely day down in Kansas Raised in a graveyard Strange this displacement I will take great pains To get to those great plains Drop out of college Move to Topeka A good friend of mine lives there

It's one thing to want to be someone else when the someone is abstract That's just depression Dissatisfaction with your life A desire to escape But when the someone is specific, when you can name them That's when things have gone wrong It's admiration turned sour Dissatisfaction that has latched onto somebody else and grown like a tumor A level of parasociality that you can't come back from Once you've idolized the life of another to that point Once you've diminished yourself to that point You're in a nosedive And you've got to pull up before you crash.

I wish I were someone else But it seems too stupid to mention

Window facing an ill-kept front yard Plums on the tree heavy with nectar Prayers to summon the destroying angel Moon stuttering in the sky like film stuck in a projector And you Twin prop airplanes passing loudly overhead Road to the airport two lanes clear Half the whole town gone for the summer Terrible silence coming down here And you There is no deadline There is no schedule There is no plan we can fall back on The road this far can't be retraced There is no punchline anybody can tack on There are loose ends by the score What did I come down here for? You

Well we called off your guard as we entered the yard To convince you to redirect some of that rage Because who fed you rocks while they ate their thanksgiving? And who left you out all alone in their cage? And when you were a pup, well I watched you so close You ran straight to the distance allowed by his post You got kicked, you got choked, phrases crept up your spine When he said, "We must keep our bitches in line" And on his poker nights, says the same of his wife He's the top dog, pack leader, a true alpha-male So make no sudden moves, keep your nose from the border You move fast, you eat last this side of pecking-order So why don't you come with me? We've got acres with streams We won't keep you in cages, make you beg for your treats We won't tell you to heel, though you might need some time to Dig up those old bones your young self left behind You said your offer is nice but here should suffice Yeah, my younger years were something but that isn't my life Master's all that I've got, he keeps me having a purpose Gives me bed, keeps me fed, and I'm just slightly nervous of What I might do if I were let loose If I caught that mail car or ate garbage for food So, as I bare all my teeth I will ask of you please to just leave Well your heart has spoken I feel you're already house broken Well your heart has spoken I feel you're already house— Well, I made you a hood ornament for an oncoming car Because your bark might seem bad, but I'll show you the scars From when the state sent you over to deliver your teeth To the heels of your kindred, breaking chains from their feet And then you wipe your hands clean, splash of water, paper napkin While the parrots sing headlines, we wear the leash like a fashion Try to take out my claws, expect a visceral reaction Try to muzzle me up, I'll lash out, I'll bite back and Keep my options open For fear of becoming house—

You would know me if you saw me on the road I’m imposing, I’m explosive, I’m precocious, I’m the most I’m a roving roiling presence, I’m a lesson of the coast I’ve sung this song before, by now you’re certain how it goes, but... Can you sing along? I don’t hold you to the best, but Can’t you see the lines and dots? Don’t you feel as if you’re missing something? Do you understand? You think you know the mistress, well You see me as I am, but... I’m a skeptic of the senses, I don’t think you’ve broke The terror found in relishing pretention, I don’t think you’ve spoke To any of your characters, purveyors of your barriers The scariest it gets is far behind the world you know, so... Can you sing along? She was looking like a summer Can’t you see the lines and dots? And in turn, beget the sun within her Do you understand? You think you know the mistress, well You see me as I am, but... Can you see me with the lights off? The quale I brought to class? Articulate the beauty of a flower held behind my back Face down, ass up, represented in the black auditorium We’re telling stories of a blasphemous aurator Is the fur still succulent and downy in the mind Face down, tail up, feel it jostle in your hand It’s the beauty of a flower held behind my back I’m that doggie in the window of your church Every Sunday, you could see me if your muzzle formed the words Think absurdly in the evening, think concretely by the dawn Think along the lines you recognize, but never dared to walk Can you sing along? I don’t hold you to the best, but Can’t you see the lines and dots? Don’t you feel as if you’re missing something? Do you understand? You think you know the mistress, well You see me as I am, but... Can you sense the gold within a Friendship saved? Can you lens the lurid lines belied inside On A Clear Day? Can you grab the squalid square laid bare amongst a Desert Rain? Can you nab the stained stripes entwined a meek Untitled 8? I say! Can you sing along? She was looking like a summer Can’t you see the lines and dots? And in turn, beget the sun within her Do you understand? You think you know the mistress, well You see me as I am, but... Can you see me with the lights off? The quale I brought to class? Articulate the beauty of a flower held behind my back Face down, ass up, represented in the black auditorium We’re telling stories of a blasphemous aurator Is the fur still succulent and downy in the mind Face down, tail up, feel it jostle in your hand It’s the beauty of a flower held behind my back

There's a comfort in wallowing In remaining in your bubble In hiding under the covers, shielded from the world Stewing in the quiet envious rage that you're too ashamed to admit to anyone But little by little, the inspiration can transform you Letting a little more light in each day Until you can come out from under the covers Your hair messy, disheveled Bags under your eyes, disheveled from the years spent underneath But ready to blossom Not into someone else But into yourself